Come on, play along! Aside from the recent Rev. Labouf fiasco, I would like to nominate the following as potential ways of drawing interest to H20-town:
1). Welcome to Watertown, home of Arthur Shawcross. (unfortunatley, with Cloverdale being torn down, they can't do a "this is where he lived" tour).
2.) Got Tree? Is it just me, or does this place smell like a friggin' air freshner? (no shit, somebody once asked me if Watertown smelled like Vanillaroma).
3.) Forget the Borden haunted house, tell folks Gooddale Street is haunted by the ghost of Tina Hosmer Smith.
4.) Eva Manning. 'Nuff said.
5.) All the shopping one can handle under one roof at the Globe Mini-Mall.
6.) When you're tired of shopping at the Globe Mini-Mall, pull up a stool and have a cold one at the Hitch 'N Post.
7.) The Maywood Mauraders. What a silly little name for a gangfull of pud-pulling COCKSUCKERS. Ooops, looks like I've been reading these posts too much.
8.) Mayor Jeff Graham's combover. What the FUCK is that all about? It's like, hello--that's not a comb-over, that's a freakin' plow-over.
9.) Salmon Run Mall. It should be called Beatnik Central.
10.) 1000 Islands Dressing is really a code word for a chunky pearl necklace.
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2 comments:
OK Marcus....where does the orangey tint in the dressing come from huh huh? What is the story behind Eva Manning-a Mrs. Robinson tale?
Ewwww. That just like, barfed me to the max thinking about it. I'm referring to the orange tint, not the lovely and adorable Eva Manning. She's so cute and cuddling, sort of like one of those lawn gnomes. Kind of smells like one, come to think of it... You know, the one the nieghborhood dogs like to get their leg up on? But alas, there's no Mrs. Robinson-type stories there... Thank goodness.
And that orange tint in the dressing? Ancient Chinese Secret(ions)!
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