Uncle Smithers' Week #2 Picks

Ah, dreaded week two is upon us. Dreaded because it's hard to tell at this point which NFL teams are legit, and which are too legit to quit... (that would mean, suck, because anybody who coins a phrase Please Hammer Don't Hurth 'Em just isn't right in the head.) Uncle Smithers actually won money last week with his picks (I only put five on a parlay)--and overall didn't do too badly. How 'bout them Orange?! Pathetic.

This weeks college picks:

Michigan St. is a 2.5 point underdog traveling to Pitt. Both teams are 2-0, however, I'm giving this to Pitt for a number of reasons. First, they're at home. Second, the Big East is a stronger conference than the Big 10 this year. Third, Michigan St. has struggled on the road.

Florida is a 3.5 pt favorite going into Tennessee, where 105,000+ fans will be dressed in white and Yeorange. I like Florida because of their offense, and because Tennessee's is rather inconsistent. I'd be surprised if this comes down to a defensive battle.

The Irish are 6.5 point favorites at home against Michigan, how has had opening road wooes going back to 1999. Expect them to continue, though I'm still pissed Notre Dame didn't cover the spread at Georgia Tech.

Oregon is at home and a 4.5 point favorite against Oklahoma. I like the Ducks to prevail in this one. They're 22-1 at home against non-conference opponents and 4-0 against ranked teams there under their current coach. These guys are quick, and their QB, Dixon, looked pretty poised last week against Fresno St. Oklahoma seemed to struggle a bit in their two victories to date.

Louisville has an opportunity to beat Miami after losing to them 11 times. Good news for the Cardinals is they're at home where they've played pretty good over the last several years. Bad news for Miami is they looked rather sluggesh on Offense, something they can't afford to be if Louisville continues to put points up on the board sans their version of RB Bush, Michael. I like the Cards, -4.5.

LSU travels to Auburn for a battle of top 10 teams (#6 vs. #3), and two of the best defenses in the country. I like Auburn, -3.5, playing at home simply because they've played two opponents a bit more worthy than LSU vs. Louisianna-Lafayette. Helen Keller would stop them on d-too.

The Pros:

Tough week for picks, so I'm just going to point and shoot:

RAVENS vs. raiders +11.5. I think Oakland will cover this spread, though we could see another 27-0 Baltimore route.

COLTS vs. texans +13.5. I'll take the Texans, as they give certain teams fits and Indy is one of them.

FINS vs. bills +6.5. Should be a good matchup though the rivalry just isn't as much fun as Kelly/Marino. I like the fins, but not by much. Look for the Bills to cover the spread.

BEARS vs. lions +8.5. One of those who cares NFC matchups. Has this game mattered in the last 20 years at all? I still can't believe Rex Grossman is the Bears QB. Take the Lions--they're actually looking like they're tired of being stepped on.

panthers vs. VIKINGS +2.5. Take the Vikings, playing at home. New coach Childress is a disciplinarian, and it's working to a "T".

EAGLES vs. g-men +3.5. Can you imagine the Giants starting 0-2? Eli showed on a national stage he isn't as good as his brother, and guess what? He's not as good as McNabb, either. Take the birds at home.

FALCONS vs. buccs +5.5. What the hell happened to the Buccs last week? I called Baltimore to cover, +2.5, but Jesus. On the flip side, Altanta beat Carolina senseless. I have to go with the Falcons here.

saints vs. PACKERS +2.5. Remember the days when Green Bay was undefeatable at home? That's where Brett Favre should be, home in Louisianna, watching the game on the porch and relieving those memories. Take the upstart Saints.

rams vs. 49ERS +2.5 Well, San Fran covered the spread last week, but I don't think playing at home will help them much this time around. Rams.

SEAHAWKS vs. cardinals +6.5. Shit, if Seattle can't score more than 9 points against Detroit, how can they be 6.5 point favorites against the Cardinals? Coffee? I like the birds. The red ones. To cover.

patriots vs. J-E-T-S JETS! JETS! JETS! +5.5 I'm not a Jets fan, but hmm... New England squeaks one out at home against Buffalo, go on the road and are a 5.5 point favorite? Jets to cover.

CHARGERS vs. titans +11.5. Have the Titans really fallen this far? I don't think so. 11.5 points is a lot, and I'll take it.

BRONCOS vs. chiefs +10.5. Trent Greene thought he was bucked by a bronco last week. The chefs, great googley moogley, will get bucked again this week as Plummer miraculously pulls his head out of his ass and shoots lightening bolts for touchdowns.

COWBOYS vs. redskins +5.5. Hmmmm... Rivalry. Another cowboy and indian thing going on here. But just as Brokeback Mountain proved, the Cowboy always gets it in the end. Look for Washington to cover.

steelers vs. JAGS +1.5. Ahhh... Those road warrior Steelers. If it weren't for Maddox, the Steelers would have won this game last year at home. But alas, they'll get it this year--watch them roll out newly acquired Najah Davenport to roll them into the endzone from short yardage.