RockStar SuperSoaker

Josh Logan - Heart-Shaped Box (Rockstar Supernova)



If Tommy Lee and gang ever had a drug addiction and you live in the vicinity of a casino, chances are you'll make money by laying some money down on a bet for a relapse. One can only sympathize (to an extent) with these reality-risk takers as they sit week after week listening to a hodge-podge of potential lead singers, none of which have the total package down quite like Flea dancing around with a sock on his jones (and sadly, none are nowhere near as entertaining, either).

While Tommy ang gang ramble off criticism and advice week after week to the "contestants", they may want to fire some off to the show's producer, ultra-reality goober Mark Burnett. Last years forum, Rockstar INXS, got away with weak-weekly selection of songs for the wanna-bes to croon to, selections that ranged from the 60's and 70's (and you thought those infomercials from Time-Life Music were annoying), to pop songs up to the present.

It worked for INXS because they ARE the quentissential pop-rock band. SuperNova, boasting former members of Metallica, Guns N' Roses, N' Motley Crue, are, however, NOT poppy. So, why on earth am I listening to these guys criticize the contestants about the importance of song selection when some clueless producer is putting "Coldplay" on the list to begin with? REM? Hell, I'm halfway expecting somebody to have to sing Pappa Don't Preach one of these nights. At least they got it right by nixing the dude who, afer appearing in the final three, chose to sing Duran Duran. The Reflex of kicking his ass off the stage never sounded so satisfying.

Another problem with the show is format. Half of what made last years show so intriguing was listening to the final three singing an INXS tune of the band's choice. Is there any better of a way to call a wanna be out and making them sing one of your own songs? Instead, SuperNova leaves it up to the contestants. It's pretty frustrating to hear them say "I want you to bring it, and ROCK, dude, my brotha", when the contestant first has to sing "Puff the Magic Dragon", and then they're left to their own devices. "Tonight, I'm gonna bring it down with my tweaked version of Nothing Compares To You." No man, if you want them to prove themselves, then YOU, SuperNova, should be picking that elimination song.

Finally, it's the pure lack of talent on the show that may have these three hanging out in front of the Quick Stop with Jay and Silent Bob again. There (was) a relatively even mix of male/female singers to start with, but honestly, only a handful of conteders overall. I'd say three guys and three girls: Dilana, Jill, Storm, Magni, Toby, and my darkhorse... Josh. Yes, Josh, who found himself in the bottem three this week. Sorry all you Lukas fans, but the guy can't sing. Besides, he's the one who chose Coldplay.

Of these six, the best singing has come from Magni and Dilana. Magni has toned down his arrogance level (his first performance was rather condescending) and pulled off a couple of good songs in a row. Dilana knows and understands the target audience, but I really question how tiresome she may become as the show wears on as she's something of a one-trick pony at this point and needs to demonstrate more range in her voice.

This brings me to my dark horse, Josh. Sure, chances are extremely slim he will make it to even the final five, but I'm telling you the one thing the boy has that the others haven't shown so far is a versatile voice, something that was evident before he sang Heart Shaped Box (when he first did She Talks to Angels, it was evident he could actually sing). I'm sort of glad to see his back to the wall early so he could demonstrate some chomps, and that's what he did by shredding through (yet) another Nirvana song.

So, here's hoping that next week brings us some more "heavier" performances. I understand the choices are intended to be controversial to some extent, but I swear, if Cotten Eye Joe shows up on the list one of these nights, the vibrations slapping the band upside their heads won't be coming from Jason Newsted's bass... And they won't be Good Vibrations, either.