Random thought of the day

Why is it that people who smoke in cars throw their cigarette butts out onto the road? It's one of the most confounding things I see on a regular basis. Now, I've long held the viewpoint that if somebody smokes, you automatically deduct 15 points from their IQ, but this little act alone sets one back to borderline mental retardation--which is actually a good thing because heaven forbid a smoker fall asleep with a lit one dangling from their oriface, the drool that comes with blue-helmets and short-buses is more than adequate to extinquish any fire it may cause.

But back to the thought at hand: tossing cigarette butts out of moving vehicles. Let us stop and think about this for a moment, shall we? There's this thing inside just about every automobile called an ASHTRAY. It's shaped like a tray, and low and behold, it holds ashes... lots of them. The only conclusion I can draw from why smokers don't use their ashtrays is because they don't want their car stinking up of cigarettes.

Wait a minute. Let's back up. Was that REALLY rational? Smokers don't use their ashtrays because they don't want their car stinking up of cigarettes? Shit. Well call me a mo-fo honky-tonk cracker who lost stock in Opal toothpaste. Where the fuck is Alanis Morrisette when you need her, hanging out the side of the car and all while singing about having 10,000 spoons when all you need is a knife... (come to think of it, I can see why O.J. Simpson dug that song).

So, here we have Cock D. Smoker, smoking X brand of cigs he bought at the local corner store. Cock, being the Smoker that he is, is rolling in his 5.0 with the windows down so that his hair can... Blow, puffing away and making Puff Daddy look like P. Diddy (insert Alanis here). He's about down to the nub of his oral fixation when he oh-so-cooly flicks that badass butt out onto the road.

Now excuse me Cock, but if you can put that shit in your mouth and inhale it into your body, why the hell ain't it good enough to put it in the damn ashtray of your faggy-ass 5.0?! Oh no, no sir, wouldn't want to deprive Cock of looking all Machismo while flicking the butt off onto the road. Let's make a little analogy for Cock to see if he can get it or not: Ashtray is to Body as Cigarette Butt is to Smoke. In other words, if the damn smoke is good enough to go into your body, then the cigarette butt that's responsible for it is good enough to go into your ashtray.

I mean, for crying out loud, it's not like your ashtray is gonna get cancer.