Wednesday, June 28, 2006

Shining

Chicken Smoothies

Hate having to make time for a nutritious, affordable, and lo-calorie lunch that not only tastes great, but comes with desert?! Cheer up! The M&M/Mars Co., makers of the single-serving Flavia coffee machines for the office, have done it again, this time teaming up with Lipton to bring you Chicken flavored Smoothies! That's right, you too can enjoy the benifets of your choice from cajun, smoked, mesquite, jerk, sesame, or curry flavored chicken mixed with your second choice of frozen papaya, strawberries and kiwi, raspberry, or humus, blended to perfection to give you a chunky chicken wanker's surprise! Top your frozen meal off with peppercorns, bacon, sour cream, diced onions, caramel, chocolate, or rocky mountain oyesters, and you'll be the hit of your office's next pot-luck luncheon.

10 COMMANDMENTS

Bareback Mountain

Tuesday, June 27, 2006

Brainwashing

Many people have come to use the terms "brainwashing" or "mind control" to explain the otherwise intuitively puzzling success of some methodologies for the religious conversion of inductees to new religious movements (including cults).

The term "brainwashing" is not widely used in psychology and other sciences, because of its vagueness and history of being used in propaganda, not to mention its association with hysterical fears of people being taken over by foreign ideologies. It is often more helpful to analyze "brainwashing" as a combination of manipulations to promote persuasion and attitude change, propaganda, coercion, capture-bonding, and restriction of access to neutral sources of information. Note that many of these techniques are more subtly used (usually unconsciously) by advertisers, governments, schools, parents and peers, so the aura of exoticism around "brainwashing" is undeserved. At the same time, nuanced forms of indoctrination and propaganda in religious,political and commercial venues may occasion wider and deeper impacts than do outright coercive tactics. Mirroring George Orwell's doublespeak, strategists of indoctrination and propaganda frequently disguise themselves as promoters of freedom and liberation.

Thought reform is the alteration of a person's basic attitudes and beliefs by outside manipulation. The term usually relates closely to brainwashing and mind control.

I just sit here and wonder if and when under this newly found religous epiphany its members will treck down to Guyanna and pass out the kool aid.

It is not that these people who fall into the trap of this religous programming are inherantly bad people. On the contrary, they are average everday people like you and me who need to feel accepted. The need to know that their beliefs, their actions are approved en masse. They may not find this acceptance and approval from their current circle of family or friends, in fact they may never have. For them it is far easier (psychologically and emotionally speaking) to join a group and be of the group whatever that group may be than to walk to the beat of their own drummer.

Within the group and conforming to the group they find something they have longed for....acceptance and approval.

So when someone says "God is great" or "God is very good" or something similar I can only feel disgust and pity for those people who drivel such nonsense....for it is this utterance that every suicide bomber and terrorist brings to his lips when taking a life. It was said on 9/11 as each plane crashed in a fiery death to all. It was said by the executioners when Daniel Pearl was beheaded. It was said when a roadside IED was detonated to take out a convoy of American Troops.

Those words in Arabic.... ALLAH AKBAR

Saturday, June 24, 2006

Everybody's Favorite Man Servant



www.icebox.com

Friday, June 16, 2006

NEW TERRORIST THREAT

Asians with chickens.

If you see suspicious asian with chicken activity please done mask and alert the authorities.

Thursday, June 15, 2006

Innocense Lost

Just something I discovered on another blog and thought I would share


sweet17: Hi
bloodninja: hello
bloodninja: who is this?
sweet17: just a someone?
bloodninja: A someone I know?
sweet17: nope
bloodninja: Then why the hell are you bothering me?
sweet17: well sorrrrrry
sweet17: I just wanted to chat with you
bloodninja: why?
sweet17: nevermind your an jerk
bloodninja: Hey wait a minute
sweet17: yes?
bloodninja: look I’m sorry. I’m just a little paranoid
sweet17: paranoid?
bloodninja: yes
sweet17: of what?
sweet17: me?
bloodninja: No. I’m in hiding.
sweet17: LOL
bloodninja: Don’t fucking laugh at me!
bloodninja: This shit is serious!
sweet17: What are you hiding from?
bloodninja: The cops.
sweet17: gimme a fucking break
bloodninja: I’m serious.
sweet17: I don’t get it
bloodninja: The cops are after me.
sweet17: For what?
bloodninja: I’m wanted in three states
sweet17: For???
bloodninja: It’s kindof embarrasing.
bloodninja: I had sex with a turkey.
bloodninja: Hello?
sweet17: You are fucking sick.
bloodninja: Send me your picture.
sweet17: why?
bloodninja: so I know you aren’t one of them.
sweet17: One of what?
bloodninja: The cops.
sweet17: I’m not a cop i told you
bloodninja: Then send me your picture.
sweet17: hold on
bloodninja: Hurry up.
bloodninja: Are you there?
bloodninja: fuck you, cop!
sweet17: Hey sorry
sweet17: I had to do something for my mom.
bloodninja: I thought you were trying to find a picture to send to me.
bloodninja: When really you were notifying the authorities.
bloodninja: Weren’t you!?
sweet17: thats not it
bloodninja: Then what?
sweet17: I don’t want to send you the picture cause I’m not pretty
bloodninja: Most cops aren’t
sweet17: IM NOT A FUCKING COP YOU DICKSHIT!
bloodninja: Then send me the picture.
sweet17: fine. What’s your e-mail?
bloodninja: Just send it through here.
sweet17: alright *PIC*
sweet17: Did you get it?
bloodninja: Hold on. I’m looking.
sweet17: That was me back in may
sweet17: I’ve lost weight since then.
bloodninja: I hope so
sweet17: what?!?
sweet17: that hurt my feelings.
bloodninja: Did it?
sweet17: Yes. I’m not that much smaller than that now.
bloodninja: Will it make you feel better if I send you my picture?
sweet17: yes
bloodninja: Alright let me find it.
sweet17: kks
bloodninja: Okay here it is. *PIC*
sweet17: this isn’t you.
bloodninja: I’ll be damned if it ain’t!
sweet17: You don’t look like that.
bloodninja: How the hell do you know?
sweet17: cause your profile has another picture.
bloodninja: The profile pic is a fake.
bloodninja: I use it to hide from the cops.
sweet17: You look like the Farm Fresh guy lol
bloodninja: Well, you look like you ATE the Farm Fresh guy….
bloodninja: Not to mention all the groceries.
sweet17: Go fuck yourself
bloodninja: I was going to until I saw that picture
bloodninja: Now my unit won’t get hard for a week.
sweet17: I shouldn’t have sent you that picture.
sweet17: You’ve done nothing but slam me.
sweet17: you hurt me.
bloodninja: And calling me the Farm Fresh guy doesn’t hurt me?
sweet17: I thought you were bullcrapping me!
bloodninja: Why would I do that?
sweet17: I can’t believe that cops are after you
bloodninja: I can’t believe Santa lets you sit on his lap..
sweet17: FUCK YOU!!!
bloodninja: You’d break both of his legs.
sweet17: You’re a fucking wanker!
sweet17: I’ve been teased my whole life because of my weight
sweet17: and you make fun of me when you don’t even know me
bloodninja: Ok. I’m sorry.
sweet17: No you aren’t
bloodninja: You’re right. I’m not.
bloodninja: HAARRRRR!
sweet17: I’m done with you
bloodninja: Aww. I’m sorry.
sweet17: I’m putting you on ignore
bloodninja: Wait a sec
bloodninja: We got off on the wrong foot.
bloodninja: Wanna start over?
sweet17: No
bloodninja: I’ll eat your kitty
sweet17: You’ll what?
bloodninja: You heard me.
bloodninja: I said I’d eat your kitty.
sweet17: I thought you said you couldn’t get it hard after seeing my picture
bloodninja: Do I need a hard-on to eat your kitty?
sweet17: I’d like to know that the man eating me out is excited yes
bloodninja: Well I’m not like most men.
bloodninja: I get excited in different ways.
sweet17: Like what?
bloodninja: Do you really wanna know?
sweet17: I don’t know
bloodninja: You have to tell me yes or no.
sweet17: I’m afraid to
bloodninja: Why?
sweet17: cause
bloodninja: cause why?
sweet17: well lets see
sweet17: you say you have sex with turkeys. You call me fat. then you wanna eat me out
sweet17: doesn’t that seem strange to you?
bloodninja: Nope
sweet17: well its strange to me
bloodninja: Fine. I won’t do it if you don’t want me to
sweet17: I didn’t say that
bloodninja: So is that a yes?
sweet17: I guess so.
bloodninja: Ok. I need your help getting excited though.
bloodninja: Are you willing?
sweet17: What do you need me to do?
bloodninja: I need you talk like a pirate.
sweet17: ???
bloodninja: When I start to go limp… you say “HARRRR!!!”
bloodninja: ok?
bloodninja: Hello?
sweet17: You can’t be serious
bloodninja: Oh yes I am!
bloodninja: It’s my fantasy.
sweet17: this is retarded
bloodninja: Do you want it or not?
sweet17: Yes I want it.
bloodninja: Then you’ll do it for me?
sweet17: sure
bloodninja: Ok. Here we go.
bloodninja: I gently remove your panties and being to massage your thighs.
bloodninja: You get really juicy thinking about my tounge brushing up against them
bloodninja: I softly begin to tounge your wet kitty.
bloodninja: I run my tounge up and down your smooth cunt.
sweet17: mmmm yeah
bloodninja: uh oh …going limp.
sweet17: Har
bloodninja: You gotta do better than that!
bloodninja: Your picture was really bad.
sweet17: HARRRRRRRRRRRR
bloodninja: Ahhhh. Much better. I feel your kitty get more moist with every stroke.
bloodninja: I softly suck on your clit bringing it in and out of my mouth.
bloodninja: Your juices run down my chin as your scent makes its way to my nose.
bloodninja: I begin to feel empowered by your femininity.
sweet17: mmmmmm you are good
bloodninja: I feel your thighs tighten as I fuck harder
bloodninja: going limp
sweet17: HARRRRRRR
bloodninja: Mmmm I grab your swelling buttocks in my hands.
bloodninja: You begin to sway back and forth.
bloodninja: going limp
sweet17: this is stupid
bloodninja: …still limp
bloodninja: Do it!
sweet17: HARRRRRRRRRRRRR
bloodninja: I turn you around to lick your asshole.
bloodninja: I pry apart that battleship you call your ass.
bloodninja: I see poo nuggets hanging from the hair around your ass.
sweet17: WTF?!?!?
bloodninja: They stink really bad.
sweet17: OMG STOP!!!
bloodninja: I start to get fed up with your ugly ass
bloodninja: I tear off your wooden peg leg.
bloodninja: I ram it up your ass.
sweet17: YOURE A FUCKING PYSCHO!!
bloodninja: Then I pour hot carmel over your head.
bloodninja: And turn you into a fucking candy apple…
bloodninja: I kick you in the face!
sweet17: FUCK YOU DICKHEAD!!
bloodninja: The celluloid from your cheeks hits the side of the cabin…
bloodninja: Your parrot flys away.
bloodninja: …going limp again.
bloodninja: Hello?
bloodninja: Say it!
bloodninja: HAARRRRRR!!!!!

Monday, June 12, 2006

Funny Story

Seemed a woman wanted to get a loan.....not just a short term I need groceries kind of loan but a big ticket, keep the factories humming kind of loan. She went to her bank and filled out an application. The loan officer called her into his office and said that her application was incomplete that she listed no income. "I work at home", she insisted... "That's got to be worth something". "I'm sorry ma'am. We base your ability to pay on your income from your current work history. We really need current W-2's, tax returns....etc. Maybe your accountant can provide you with that information."

Not giving up she went home. As she thought about it all that afternoon she decided to ask her husband for help. As he came home from a long day at work and after a lovely dinner and time with family she made her move. "Honey", she said..."I've got good news and bad news." Perplexed and really not knowing what to expect he asked her for the bad news first. "I need you to sign for a loan for me, but it's a little large."

He took one of those long deep breaths and asked for the good news....

"It's for you" she said. Happy Father's Day!!!

Tuesday, June 06, 2006

Got Your Devil Sign?

06/06/06


Woe to you, oh earth and sea for the devil sends the beast with wrath, because he knows the time is short...


Let him who hath understanding reckon the number of the beast for it is a human number, its number is six hundred and sixty six.



There's a bit of hell-fire and damnation for this lovely June morning. Many things are done in the name of religion. Don't get me wrong, I have nothing against it. It is what we as humans developed to explain why the sun abandoned us at night when we crawled out of the caves and onto the plains of Africa millions of years ago. Be careful what we do all in the name of the all mighty. People have killed and are being killed in the name of it. Christians called it Crusade and Muslims call it Jihad.

Whatever gives you the power to get up after being knocked down in your own world is good for you whether that power comes from Jesus, Allah, portrait of the blessed virgin mary burned into your french toast bought on eBay or the fruit of your husband's loins....makes no matter. To each his own and whatever floats your boat. Point is that whatever makes your little existance meaningful works for you.

There should be a distinction made though between what is done in the name of God and the history of actions behind those who swear by it. The trespasses of those who have harmed should not all be forgotten just because he who has trespassed now speaks of a higher power. Only a history of actions that truly show a new path is proof of enlightenment. Forgiveness, on the other hand is just politically correct way of saying get over yourself.

There is evil in the world... or that which is not good. There has to be. There has to be a contrast or for that which is good would lose its luster, its meaning and compell us into a darkness of the mediocre. In life we must have the bad days to know the meaning of and appreciate the good ones.

So be wary of what is done all the name of religion. Actions speak louder than words spoken or put in print. Today is just a date and will pass like any other. There is no significance to the numbers as that is all they are although I imagine some, somewhere will use them as they use religion....as an excuse.

In the end, be a good neighbor, honor thy father, to thyne own self be true, etc etc... now.....where's that damn goat.... Ethel!!!!! is the altar ready????